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Art_Woodworker
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Name: Arthur
Gender: Male
Interests: Bible Quizzing, Beethoven, Bill Shakespeare, black coffee, Bible College
Expertise: One time I rode a wheelie while balancing a pen on my nose and barking like a seal.
Occupation: Baritone
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/16/2006
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| As did approximately nineteen other handicapped persons. I'm usually pretty easy-going about these kinds of things. But it got to the point where I found it necessary to drive slowly past each parked vehicle and make sure it had a handicapped parking tag in the windshield. I could have looked more closely to make sure none of them were expired; or as one vehicle after another deprived me of a spot I was about to claim, waited to see just how handicapped the driver was. But my laziness got the better of my stubbornness, so after about seven minutes of driving in circles I picked a spot in the back, next to the cart drop-off.
I decided it would be fun to use a shopping cart. I usually use those plastic baskets, but today I was expecting a slightly larger load of merchandise than normal. You see, today was the day I was to buy fishing tackle and liquid hand soap.
I grabbed the nearest available cart and began to push it. The front right wheel wobbled. My stubbornness got the better of the awkwardness of pushing a noisy cart around. And so I continued to push a noisy cart around.
I am now the proud owner of a Shakespeare Pro-Am spinning reel and 5'6" rod. I am going fishing one of these days. I wanted to get a license too, but the Customer Service desk had no one there. Instead of waiting, I thought my time would be better spent looking for liquid hand soap.
I pushed my noisy cart around the perimeter of the store three or four times. I thought four or five times of telling a Sales Associate how he/she may help me, but my pride got the better of every other inclination, and up to this very hour it remains a mystery to me where Wal-Mart stocks its liquid hand soap.
I returned to the Sporting Goods Customer Service and found a Customer Service Associate standing there. He informed me that they were out of season licenses, but I could purchase and print one online. And so I determined to take that course of action and returned home. It is not important for any of my readers to know about my subsequent experience with purchasing a fishing license online. Enough tears have already been shed.
But I am the proud owner of a Shakespeare Pro-Am spinning reel and 5'6" rod. I am going fishing one of these days.
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| So yesterday evening I went to Happy Harry's to buy a birthday present for Dorie. I got the present, and was just getting back into the car when a lady who worked at a neighboring store ran up to me.
"Were you in my store today?"
"No."
"Darn. I mean, a man was at our store, and he left his card behind. He looked just like you."
Somewhere in Bridgeville, Delaware, there is a man who looks just like me. And he's missing his card.
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| The store was out of Altoids.
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| "This is where the Pepsi goes."
"Well that's what I did."
The manager looked a little preoccupied, so I went to see if I could find any other employees just to let someone know I was there. Finding no one, I went back to where the girl stocking shelves was arguing with the manager.
"The chart says to do sections J and K --"
"That's what you told me to do, and I did it, and you came back and redid it all."
I pretended to shop for greeting cards and deodorant as I thought to myself, Perfect, she's gonna get fired, and I'll get hired on the spot.
The manager stopped her conversation long enough to put on a smile and say "Hello" to me. Good, at least she knew I was there.
The girl didn't get fired, and I wasn't hired, or even given an interview. As it turned out, there was a new shipment of freight that was filling up the back room, and manager and the one other employee were busy dealing with it all, so my job interview got moved to Wednesday.
I thought as long I was in the area I might as well stop somewhere to buy some Altoids. As of late I have been noticing how sadly wanting my car is of Altoids, especially since there is an Altoids tin that does not contain Altoids, but is instead filled with fresh minted coins.
I thought I would drive further into town to fulfill this errand. But Milford ended, and I found myself on the way to Dover. I didn't want to go all the way to Dover, so I made a U-turn and went straight back to Milford. Funny thing is, Milford wasn't there anymore, and Lewes had taken its place. By the time I gave up and turned on the GPS and found myself 19 miles from Milford, I didn't care about the Altoids anymore. Next time. Someday I will have Altoids in my car.
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| Today someone gave me a helpful suggestion: "If you update your xanga more, people will like you." Wasn't that nice of him?
I've spent the last two days working on a paper for philosophy, particulary political philosophy. Right now I'm kind of stuck trying to formulate an opinion on Martin Luther King's position on civil disobedience. It's actually pretty interesting stuff.
We got our World Religions midterms back yesterday. I'm decently happy with the way it turned out. I made a couple really dumb mistakes (like listing only four of the five Pillars of Islam when he clearly asked for all five), but that's okay, because it was still an intensely difficult exam, especially since we only had 70 minutes to finish it. So really the only disappointment is that someone else pulled off a 99. I can get a good grade in the class, as long as I do well on my Islam paper, due next Friday, which I have barely started.
I had my Genesis debate this week. This was fun. Our resolution was that "the nephilim were the seed of fallen angels," and I got to debate the negative side. Since I could find no solid argument for the Sethite view, I got to make up my own hypothesis that in the term bene Elohim, Elohim actually does not mean "God" but "mighty ones," so that bene Elohim actually means "sons of mighty ones." Furthermore, just as pygmies have evolved to grow shorter because of their short life expectancy, the nephilim grew really big because of their really long life expectancy. Oh yeah.
I kind of hope Mr. Weber liked it. So far my group isn't the only one to resort to what one of my classmates called "slimy" hermeneutics.
Okay, I'm going to go finish my philosophy paper now. | | |
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